The lady used to clean and cook and I was sure she was going to be a good wife that's if she was going to "enter my box", as in besides her beauty and especially that Luo body we all drool for she had manners and was a true African girl and to sum it all up SHE WAS A CHELSEA FAN!!!!!!!! She even had a phone like mine, Samsung Note II.
On the 3rd day, she suddenly told us she must go. Her house was going to be locked... I swear if I had cash I would bail her out but me mwenyewe sikua nime lipa rent and the only wealth was the food in the fridge. So I got her 2 sok afike kwake in Kasarani I think or was it Kahawa. Before she left she asked my bro if she can borrow his bag because her bag was torn. This was a sign she was coming back when she said, "Nitakupatia when I come back."
We took her to the bus stop where she left for town. My bro was all praises for her as we walked back to the house. Upon reaching the house, my bro and I wanted to work on a script as it was the drama festival season. So I went to get my laptop IT WASN'T THERE! Searched for it in vain it was nowhere.
We couldn't think of anyone stealing it until Davy said what I didn't want to imagine, ATIENO(not her real name) had stolen the laptop... now how do I even start asking her... all she'll do is deny... we had to think. We sat for like an hour thinking...
-Should we track her to her house?
-Should we report her to the cops?
All this time tho my heart was aching, the girl I thought was going to be my pride and joy A THIEF??? How I prayed she wasn't the thief.
So we remembered one thing, she liked telling us juju stories. She was Luo but grew up in Coast. Being dramatists we made a script; I patiently waited for her to halla which she did HEY XAVIER I HAD AN AWESOME TIME. YOU ARE A GREAT PERSON..." blah blah blah... nice words but I wish my laptop was here so that I'd appreciate what you are saying.
I gave a cold reply to prompt her to ask me if am ok and asking she did by calling me back. I told her my laptop has been stolen and I think someone came to my house when we were seeing her off. She was so sorry and even said she'll pray for me. Then she asked what am I going to do and that's when I hit the nail...
"Well you remember the video we saw of some guys who stole from an mpesa shop in Ukambani and a witchdoctor came and did some juju and the thieves bellies got swollen?"
"Yes nakumbuka", said a worried voice.
"Well the witchdoctor happens to be my neighbour's aunt (not you Elizabeth Kavuu Kiilu) & she's coming tomorrow to do her thing, ita rudi tu. Hata ana call let me get back to you".
I patiently waited for 30 minutes and called her back. I told her the Mkamba witchdoctor is on her way and asked me to prepare the laptop bag and not to invite anyone to her house before she arrives so that she can "vet" the spirits of the people who've been in the house to connect it to the laptop bag and the guilty spirit will be affected thus affecting the host who should be the thief.
Atieno asked me what if the laptop has been sold, wouldn't it affect an innocent person?
I was like by the way let me ask her. So I hung up the phone. Davis and I consulted on an answer. I called her back,"She has said the thief is the only one going to be affected apparently and the buyer will only be prompted to bring it back to me.
Atieno was definitely getting worried. She asked what if the witchdoctor was just after my money, but I told her she said she will get her payment after the laptop is back and she just wants is her fare reimbursed and to be paid 666 shillings.
So I told Atieno I need to sleep have a good night. On our side we were just praying she finds a way to return the laptop so that she doesn't get "cursed".
After a few minutes, Beryl calls,"Guess what, someone has called me and told me 'ambia Jerry asifanye chenye anataka kufanya".
Now, this thief got Beryl's number from where. We were now a hundred percent sure she was the thief. She was so committed to get my laptop back until the thief told her they meet at Galitos to pick the laptop. I rushed to town and stood outside Galitos. Atieno told me she was there thinking am at home. I went inside Galitos and checked everywhere but she wasn't there. I called being "concerned" asking her not to wait for the thief somewhere secluded for her safety because the thief asked her to go alone! And she told me she was just by the entrance where the guards were. I was next to the entrance. Atieno was lying I knew she was lying from the word go but I just needed to have closure. Atieno told me the thief asked for 8k. I told Atieno I don't have cash and she offered to pay for me I'll reimburse niki kujia laptop.
So the "thief" gave Atieno the laptop. She even took pictures of the laptop and sent me. I saw at the corner of one picture something that looks like head ya kitanda in another picture I could see sandals on a dirty rag, I could tell the laptop was on a bed because of the bedsheet. I asked her where she was she told me "Am still at Galitos. That's when it hit me that I was in love with a dumb dumb chic who's a thief. Bad combination.
Anyway I was to travel to Nakuru to take a car to sell so my bro went to meet Beryl with cops. After my bro narrated this story to the cops, the cops were like,"Msichana wee ni mjinga ambae sijawai ona".
She responded by saying,"Yes sir".
She was going to be arrested but I felt pity for her and told my bro mwache aende.
NOT ALL THAT GLITTERS IS GOLD
